Leave the Flock: Why We Need to Stop Being Part of the Herd
Going against the grain is hard, but necessary if you want to be your authentic self
How many of us live life with tunnel vision?
Only focused on what is ahead of us?
No one would blame you either, because it seems this is the normal way to live in a Western Society.
We commit and partake in a world where aspiration can be a heavily sought after trait. I have lived the majority of my life speaking about my goals and wanting to achieve these milestones I have set for myself.
Perhaps that’s where the lie starts, thinking that these milestones are ones I have selected. That somehow I haven't been influenced by people, media, and this constantly evolving online space.
We see, hear and consume the perfect lives that are portrayed for us online, the lives that are orchestrated to seem ‘picture perfect’.
We are influenced, unconsciously given a goal or direction to head towards.
Like a flock of sheep, we are being herded.
When we look around, everyone else is heading in the same direction. So it must be correct. So why would we stop to question things?
The sad truth — We don't.
In fact to stop and question things is to go against the grain, against the herd, and in some ways against human nature. Resistance is not something we usually stop to battle with — To go to war with.
As I currently read Steven Pressfield’s — The War of Art, I find myself questioning myself. My Motives, my goals and this trait of aspiration.
Pressfield discusses a creative's pursuit in their passions as a daily war we must partake in, he discusses common examples of resistance and issues that may come up that limit us from sitting down and going to war.
Whether that is picking up a paintbrush, writing a story, or recording a video. It doesn't really matter, we should treat this pursuit as a battle, one that begins and ends every day.
Pressfield shares a quote by William Faulkner.
“I only write when inspiration strikes. Fortunately it strikes at nine every morning.”
I find this thought to be powerful. Faulkner is telling us we shouldn’t wait for inspiration, we must take action and perhaps inspiration may visit.
When venturing into something new in life, be it a hobby, a relationship or a new career. We can be paralysed by fear. This fear can present itself when you’re daydreaming about this ‘new’ thing, it can be present during moments of planning. I have found it to be strongest when I am about to make a real step towards something.
As Faulkner so wisely tells us, he sits and begins his work.
He doesn't wait to be struck with inspiration, he doesn't allow fear to stop him, he doesn't allow resistance to manifest into a form of procrastination.
When attempting to find a deeper meaning and personal pursuit for your own life, in hopes to break away from the flock. It’s important to look inwards. To try and decrease how much we are influenced, but at a certain point, we must take action. This action will help us explore how important and authentic certain aspirations are.
What has been my biggest help to leave the flock?
As someone who has learnt to enjoy going against the grain in certain areas of my life, I have found that reducing my consumption of social media and specifically the consumption of other people’s engineered window of perfection, to be the greatest asset.
I noticed that some goals and aspirations of mine have fallen away because I am not stuck in a loop of comparison. Oh, and what a thief of joy comparison is.
Perhaps the goals and aspirations of mine that crumbled when comparison was limited weren't all that intrinsically motivated. Perhaps the milestones I felt obligated to achieve, stemed from following what the rest of the flock wants to do. What others choose to compare themselves to.
Reacting to what the perceived direction we are heading towards is. Not taking time to formulate a response.
For me, it has taken time, patience, experience, grief, a sprinkling of education, a pinch of philosophy and a whole lot of reflection to question my intentions with life.
It's not easy to leave the flock, it's not easy to question ourselves, to try and halt in a system that never stops churning.
But surely we have all consumed enough inspirational quotes on social media by now to know nothing worthwhile is easy.
I encourage you, the reader to take that time for yourself, to try and slow down and find some clarity. To quiet the external noise and increase your perception of that internal compass.
Thank you for your time,
David Yaqub
